Book Review: Pride and Prejudice and Zombies

Rating: 3 out of 5

Usually it doesn't take me an entire month to complete a novel, but life has been keeping me more than busy lately. If it wasn't for my book club acting as my group of accountability partners, I'd be concerned about getting any reading done right now!

Today the film adaptation for Pride and Prejudice and Zombies is released, and the real-life Book Club Babes will be taking a field trip to see it on Wednesday. This week we had tons of fun sharing what we thought of Seth Grahame-Smith's parody of the Jane Austen classic.

Only a couple women in the group had read the original Pride and Prejudice, and I had to admit that I never finished it. I have always felt that the novel was lacking, from its tittering dialogue to its lack of passion. I much prefer the gothic romance of the Bronte sisters, arguing that Wuthering Heights is the superior story of love vs. money.

That being said, I definitely felt that zombies improved this tale dramatically. My only complaint was that there weren't enough of them! According to Amazon, about 85% of the original text is preserved, and the remaining 15% includes references and scenes of the walking dead. Popular demand for more zombies even contributed to the release of an "ultraviolent" edition, which I'm bummed was not the version I borrowed from the library.

These sporadic additions are hilarious. I find it amusing how there's no real explanation as to why zombies have been ravaging England for decades, but the Bennet sisters do a kickass job of keeping them at bay. Mr. Bennet is more concerned with their abilities as warriors, while Mrs. Bennet just wants to see them married.

It's very clear that a man wrote this adaptation, given the over-the-top fight scenes complete with Elizabeth ripping hearts out of ninjas and eating them. I also look forward to watching her roundhouse kick Darcy into the fireplace when I see the film. Our book club agreed that Jane Austen would be pleased with this uber-feminist portrayal of her protagonist.

Another minor issue that I had with this book was its unnecessary Orientalism by fetishizing China and Japan as places to train zombie fighters. It also references that the zombie plague originated in the east, so it inherently positions the region as both the problem and the solution. Jane Austen's work has already been critiqued by English literature scholars for postcolonial themes, so Grahame-Smith does her a disservice by making Pride and Prejudice sound more racist than intended.

Other than that, if you love Pride and Prejudice, you probably don't need an excuse to read it again with zombies added. And if you're like me and never liked this novel...well, at least it's more entertaining now!

Book Review: Modern Romance

Rating: 4 out of 5

It is a truth universally acknowledged that a single man in possession of a smartphone will send dick pics to women on Tinder.

I kid, but only slightly. It's safe to say that online dating is pretty much the worst for the straight female population: men who ignore age preferences, messages that have been clearly copy-and-pasted, and sexual harassment at every turn. And don't even get me started on all the spelling and grammar errors! 

Women commiserate with each other all the time over these awful experiences, but it's nice to see sympathy from the few good men left. Comedian Aziz Ansari is one of those guys who just gets it--thanks to his awesome feminist girlfriend, Courtney McBroom.

My book club selected Ansari's Modern Romance to read in October, and I anticipate it inciting a lively discussion about how dating has changed from generation to generation and how it has fared for the better and worse in the digital age.

Ansari teams up with sociologists, psychologists, and other researchers to analyze historical trends in love and marriage, as well as compares dating in the U.S. to the scenes in international metros like Paris and Tokyo.

There are a ton of interesting statistics, so here's a sample:

“Between 2005 and 2012 more than one third of couples who got married in the United States met through an online dating site. Online dating was the single biggest way people met their spouses. Bigger than work, friends, and school combined."

“Another poll, from Gallup, found that infidelity is more universally disapproved of than polygamy, animal cloning, and suicide. So if there were two guys at a bar, one cheating on his wife and another with a cloned pig named Bootsie, it would be the cheater, not Bootsie the pig, getting more disapproving looks.”

“The most popular time to sext is Tuesday between 10:00 A.M. and noon. Yes, we looked this up twice. Strange!”

At first I thought that this would be a memoir primarily based on Ansari's dating life, but it's actually more of a research study on dating with some comedy thrown in. His material plays off many of the jokes in his standup, like why you shouldn't look for your soulmate at a bar.

I love Aziz Ansari's humor and found this book insightful and entertaining. It's obvious that he's been influenced by wonderful women, and listening to his jokes gives me hope that more men can become feminist allies--and thus, better romantic partners. Let's keep our fingers crossed, ladies! At the very least, may all your messages be dick pic-free!

Audiobook Review: Why Not Me?

 Review: 4 out of 5

When I heard that actress Mindy Kaling was writing another memoir, I didn't think twice about buying it. I had enjoyed her first book, Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me?, but had hoped for less childhood stories and more gossip about her celebrity life. Why Not Me? is a great sequel that divulges more of these details.

Kaling focuses on the ups and downs of fame and how exhausting it can be as a role model to curvy women of color. She has a refreshingly honest perspective on living in Hollywood: she looks good because she has a horde of people to make her attractive, and she puts on a smile even when she's having a bad day, because there's nothing that pisses off the masses like an extremely wealthy person with an awful attitude.

Even though she's the creator of her own show with her own name in its title, at the heart of it all, she's another 30-something woman who just wants to make friends and fall in love. I admit that I don't follow her closely on television since I gave up watching "The Office" and have never seen an episode of "The Mindy Project."

However, the reason why I like her memoirs is that she's relatable, hilarious, and the kind of woman I'd like to go shopping and grab frozen yogurt with. Spending extra money on the audiobook version is worth it, because it further enhances the feeling that you're listening to a good friend.

And perhaps if I were one of her besties, then she would give me the real scoop on her relationship with B.J. Novak. Because as adorable as her "soup snakes" versus soul mates metaphor was, I just want to hear the hookup stories. Kaling reveals that she loves doing sex scenes on camera, but won't spill about what goes on behind the scenes? Talk about disappointing!

As much as I love to read about drunken escapades and one-night stands a la Chelsea Handler, that's not who Kaling is. She's a theater nerd/sorority dropout/hopeless romantic, and that's what makes her endearing. I wish her show the best of luck on Hulu and hope to read more of her memoirs in the future!

Audiobook Review: Uganda Be Kidding Me

Rating: 4 out of 5

Chelsea Handler knocks it out of the park again with her latest comedic memoir, Uganda Be Kidding Me. Published in March of last year, the book retells Handler's traveling escapades in the past few years, including a ski trip at the private Yellowstone Club in Montana and a brief stint in Montenegro.

The majority of the memoir, however, covers her African safari trip with her close friends. A self-labeled 'professional alcoholic,' they spend their time guzzling cocktails and hitting on their South African guide named Rex.

“There’s a difference between being a class act and being classy. Peeing off the side of a jeep doesn’t mean you’re not classy, it just means you’re a free spirit with a small bladder.” - Chelsea Handler

Many readers will hate Handler for being the typical ugly American tourist, who keeps asking where the tigers are in the bush and complaining about her bit of vacation weight gain.

And yes, I admit that she is outrageous and abrasive. I've seen her talk show "Chelsea Lately" and read her other books, My Horizontal Life and Are You There, Vodka? It's Me, Chelsea, so I know her particular brand of humor well. She is the exact opposite of politically correct, making wise cracks at every minority imaginable--little people, blacks, Asians, and the LBGT, among others.

Sometimes I just have to rock myself back and forth and say, “You’ve offended so many people at this point. Don’t try to keep track now, girl.”

The reason why I enjoy her despite her offensiveness is that she's also self-deprecating. She has been famous long enough to know just how dependent she is on her countless assistants. It may be humble-bragging when she declares that she doesn't pack her own suitcases or make her own margaritas, but it also goes to show that you can be a hot mess no matter how much money you make.

Case in point: Last weekend I was visiting my family and had to try to keep quiet late one night in my old bedroom, because I was laughing so hard listening to Handler share her embarrassing story of when she shit herself in her swimsuit while kayaking in the Bahamas. The joke builds and builds on itself until she sneaks into a guest house in the wee hours of the morning, only to drunkenly open the front door for someone without her bikini bottoms on. It had me giggling like a crazy person and was easily the most hilarious portion of the book.

Ultimately, Chelsea Handler is the woman you'd want at a party, because she's unapologetic about who she is, and she definitely knows how to have fun. She also loves her dogs dearly and never, ever wants children, so I have a feeling we would make fast friends. She may not be the best role model, but I think she's better than that, because she's real.

Book Review: Texts from Jane Eyre

Rating: 4 out of 5

Ever since this book was published in November, I have been itching to get my hands on it, and after procrastinating on my purchase, I finally broke down and bought it this month. Was $14 worth what was essentially only a couple hours of reading? That's certainly debatable, but you love book humor, you'll probably find the money you spend worthwhile.

Author Mallory Ortberg is the co-creator of comedy site The Toast, and presents Texts from Jane Eyre as a collection of text conversations between literary characters of popular novels. She includes everything from classics like Moby Dick and Odyssey to bestselling YA like Harry Potter and The Hunger Games.

Want a sneak peek of the fun that awaits you? Here's an example:

Reading these will make you think that literary texts are such a perfect parody and wonder why no one else has seen this kind of success writing them. There's something so hilarious about imagining Hamlet as an angsty teenager or Daisy Buchanan as that ditz who is always trying to bum rides off you. I definitely had many moments internally screaming, "This is priceless! Why didn't I write this book?!?!" while waving goodbye to all that cold, hard cash I could have made.

So open your wallet and wave goodbye to your own cold, hard cash, because Texts From Jane Eyre is a bookworm's wonderland. You'll laugh out loud and want to text photos of the pages to all your friends. It will make a great book for your coffee table or to gift to your favorite English teacher. If I had to give stocking stuffers to all of you fellow book bloggers out there, this is exactly what I'd give you!

Audiobook Review: Me Talk Pretty One Day

Rating: 3 out of 5

Well, 2015 has started off on a mediocre foot. The first novel that I read, Invisibility, was a subpar paranormal YA romance, and now I'm disappointed by David Sedaris' Me Talk Pretty One Day after hearing such great things for so many years. I've got to say that I'm regretting my choice to insert this audiobook combo-breaker after listening to a long list of female comedic memoirs.

Me Talk Pretty One Day (2000) is a collection of essays about Sedaris' childhood in North Carolina, living in New York, and moving to Paris with his boyfriend. He cracks jokes about his Greek Orthodox father and his siblings, whom I knew nothing about except that his sister Amy is also a famous humorist.

I enjoyed the essays that were more self-deprecating, especially about his struggles with language. Whether it was finding creative ways around his lisp as a kid or surviving French lessons with his sadistic instructor, I laughed at his bumbling and atrocious grammatical mistakes. Anyone who has struggled with learning a new language can relate to his verbal roadblocks.

I won't doubt that Sedaris is a good writer, since it's obvious that he's a powerful wordsmith. However, I find issues with Sedaris personally, because to be honest, he didn't seem like somebody I would enjoy hanging around. Besides his heavy drug use, his adamant refusal to use computers, and his insincere stunt as a creative writing teacher, most of the time he needs--as my mom would put it--an 'attitude adjustment.'

Sedaris came from a privileged-enough family, raised by a meddling father who forced his children to play musical instruments and constantly berated his daughters about their weight and overall appearance. I'm not saying the apple doesn't fall far from the tree, but there were many points in this book where I felt that Sedaris was just plain mean.

Part of this is because he revels in his superiority as a 'real New Yorker,' a personality trait which I can't stomach. NYC is just another city, and living there does not make you automatically smarter and more interesting than anyone else. I hope that becoming an expat--yes, I know he loathes the word--in France instilled a bit of compassion when it comes to dealing with tourists and foreigners.

And even when he's completely justified, like when a couple of Southern tourists on a train in Paris assumed he didn't know English and accused him of petty theft, his stories fall flat because there aren't any punch lines. I kept waiting for him to confront and humiliate the rude couple, but that never happened and instead he goes along his way without a word. His essays include a lot of buildup, but little payoff.

I may be one of the few people who dislike Sedaris, but unless he's eaten a giant slice of humble pie in the 15 years since publishing this book, I'll stick to writers who can make people laugh without putting others down--or if comparing him to other caustic yet relatable comedians like Chelsea Handler and Sarah Silverman, at least do a better job about hiding the fact that you think you're better than everyone.

Audiobook Review: Yes Please

Rating: 5 out of 5

In January 2012, I bought my first audiobook: Tina Fey's Bossypants. This outrageously hilarious book led me to read a long string of memoirs by other famous women (Mindy Kaling, Chelsea Handler, Sarah Silverman, Samantha Bee, Jenny Lawson, and Lena Dunham), but tragically, none of them lived up to the reigning comedic queen. I was ready to accept the fact that no one was going to be able to rise up to that level of humor.

But then! Everyone's prayers were answered when it was revealed that Amy Poehler would be writing Yes Please. Finally! Who better to top Tina than her "Saturday Night Live" costar and very own BFF?

I'm overjoyed to say that Yes Please is everything we've been waiting for and more! It's difficult to decide where to start my praises, so here are a few tidbits from the book for you to get a sense of the awesomeness that awaits you:

“I recently hurt myself on a treadmill and it wasn’t even on. I was adjusting my speed and stepped wrong and twisted my ankle. I felt a moment of frustration filled with immediate relief. I didn’t have to actually work out, but I still got credit for trying. It was a gym snow day.”

“Please don’t drive drunk, okay? Seriously. It’s so fucked up. But by all means, walk drunk. That looks hilarious. Everyone loves to watch someone act like they are trying to make it to safety during a hurricane.”

“However, if you do start crying in an argument and someone asks why, you can always say, "I'm just crying because of how wrong you are.”

She begins her book with her preface, "Writing is Hard," which is absolutely perfect for its tongue-in-cheek honesty about the writing process. Each following chapter is filled with her wisdom regarding body image and aging, dating and divorce, and balancing career and parenting.

Poehler talks about treating your career like a bad boyfriend and owning up to your mistakes. Her fiercely feminist views are a breath of fresh air, and the way she describes her own frustrations and insecurities as a woman are very relatable.

What's not so relatable is all the shameless name-dropping she does, but you still forgive her for it, because hey, it's not her fault that she knows a ton of super cool, famous people. I mean, who wouldn't want to be her friend? She even has a few celebrities guest-star on the audiobook, including Seth Meyers, Carol Burnett, and Patrick Stewart. Her parents also drop by to talk about marriage advice and what Amy was like as a child, making this the most sickeningly cute book I've listened to ever.

I also really appreciated how much time Poehler spent discussing what actually made her a star: her years at "SNL" and her famous parodies of Hillary Clinton, her experiences on "Parks and Recreation," and her hosting the Golden Globes. As much as childhood stories can entertain, fans want to be flies on the wall of a celebrity's most famous moments, and I'm so glad that Poehler shares hers so candidly.

And while Yes Please is filled with more sage advice and less hilarious anecdotes than Bossypants, it was so fun to listen to that I finished the audiobook in a weekend. You'll crack up laughing at everything from Poehler's lessons learned on mushrooms to the pranks she pulled on her costars. Yes Please is a delightfully charming read that might just make the spot of my favorite book of 2014!

Audiobook Review: I Know I Am, But What Are You?

Rating: 3 out of 5

To call Samantha Bee eccentric would be understated. In this 2010 comedic memoir by "The Daily Show" correspondent, Bee talks about her life growing up in Canada with her divorced parents and their extremely different parenting styles.

Unsurprisingly, Bee had a series of rebellious stages--that is, after she got over her obsessive girlhood crush on Jesus Christ. I found it hard to believe that a woman whose famous persona is a total square once spent her time stealing cars and dating much older men, but it was fun imagining her doing it nonetheless.

Craziness just seemed to follow Samantha Bee, from the numerous men who flashed her to her experience working in an erectile dysfunction clinic to her cat Newton who tried to rape her head. She also attracted crazy, since she fell in love and married fellow comedian Jason Jones, also from "The Daily Show," after they starred together in a live-action production of "Sailor Moon." The idea that she met "The One" wearing a Japanese schoolgirl superhero costume is hilariously adorable.

Now married since 2001 with three children only four years apart, Bee and her husband balance work and family with a twisted sense of humor. I wish that she would have discussed her experiences with Jon Stewart and the rest of the "The Daily Show" cast, but alas not a peep! Hopefully, she can write a sequel of juicy career tidbits soon!

Bee's dirtier than Tina Fey and Mindy Kaling, but not nearly as offensive as Chelsea Handler and Sarah Silverman. Her awkward, unpopular personality also reminded me of Jenny Lawson, so to sum up all the female comedic memoirs I've listened to so far, here's a list from good to greatest:

So it turns out that nobody has been able to top Tina Fey, since Bossypants continues to be the funniest book that I have ever read. But we've got a great contender coming soon: Amy Poehler's Yes, Please, which will be released on October 28. I can't wait!

Audiobook Review: The Bedwetter

Rating: 3 out of 5

As it was pointed out to me recently, I'm suffering from a so-called "First World Problem:" I'm running out of female comedians with audiobooks to listen to! After Tina Fey, Mindy Kaling, and Chelsea Handler, I gave Sarah Silverman a shot with her 2010 memoir The Bedwetter: Stories of Courage, Redemption, and Pee.

I knew that Silverman was a vulgar comic from watching her roasts and viral videos like "I'm F***ing Matt Damon," but I knew nothing about her personal journey.

So it was interesting to learn that she suffered from chronic depression, anxiety, and bedwetting until she was 16 years old. Because of her mental illnesses, she has even chosen to not pass down her genes and reproduce.

The book definitely gave me a newfound respect for Silverman. I empathized with her stories of childhood bullying, and shared in her success in capitalizing on feeling like an outsider. Let's just say I hope that there are loads of people kicking themselves for mistreating this dark-haired Jewish girl turned celebrity!

Silverman has a knack for turning dark moments into comedic gold. She manages to make tough subjects like race and religion hilarious, as you can see in these gems:

“Some people need Hell. If you’re the type of guy who sees a hooker in an alleyway and instinctively thinks, “Hey, now there’s something I could rape and kill without any consequences,” then the concept of Hell might really keep you out of trouble.”

“I'm sympathetic to the nuns' violent impulses. I mean, if I'd given up sex to devote myself to a man who I had to just trust loved me, despite never being physically around to prove it, I'd probably be smacking little children too.”

Is The Bedwetter on the same level as Bossypants? Not by a long shot, but it is funny. The main downside I had with the book was its structure. The first half was fine, with linear chapters chronicling life from before she was born to her dropping out after one year in college to focus on stand-up.

However, after her 'mid-word,' it's apparent that editing got a bit lax. The chapters jumped around from her various PR scandals over her many controversial jokes to her thoughts on her Jewish identity. She wrapped it up well in the afterword (written tongue-in-cheek from the perspective of God after Silverman's future death), but I just wish that the second half had a better flow.

And like Chelsea Handler, Sarah Silverman is an acquired taste. Not everyone will enjoy her profanity and crudeness, but I hope that people can recognize the importance of free speech in comedy. You may not like her graphic descriptions of female sexuality, but I'm glad that she fights for equal opportunity vulgarity. Female comedians are constantly criticized for not acting 'ladylike,' and I applaud Silverman for refusing to silence her voice and follow traditional gender roles.

So while I would recommend The Bedwetter and was happy that Silverman narrated the audiobook, perhaps the narrative might make better sense in print. As for my next audio pick, I'm leaning toward I Know I Am, But What Are You? by Samantha Bee from the "The Daily Show."

Audiobook Review: My Horizontal Life

Rating: 4 out of 5

After listening to Jenny Lawson's hilarious Let's Pretend This Never Happened, I wanted to keep up the laughs. Each audiobook that I've purchased since I started spicing up my road trips has been written by a female comedian, so of course I had to follow this new tradition of mine.

This time I returned to a familiar author, Chelsea Handler. I enjoyed Are You There, Vodka? It's Me, Chelsea (2007), and I knew it was only a matter of time before I picked up My Horizontal Life: A Collection of One-Night Stands (2005).

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My Horizontal Life was Handler's first memoir, published when she was 30 years old. As the title suggests, it's a compilation of her craziest trysts during her teens and 20s. Her partners include a Vegas stripper and a little person working as a waiter in a cantina.

She also shares stories about her relatives: her German mother, Jewish father, Mormon sister, and four other older siblings. As the baby of her eclectic, opinionated family, it's no surprise that she had a dubious dating life--if only to gain some much-needed attention.

I think that the book's subject matter is self-explanatory, but I'll mention this anyway: Chelsea Handler is not for the faint of heart. She's crude, outrageous, and often politically incorrect. Her stories involve heavy drinking and drug use, which are often catalysts to her sexual escapades.

She can also be extremely self-absorbed and hedonistic. Her lovers are usually chosen on good looks alone, and are tossed aside quickly when they don't meet her superficial standards.

But you know what? Who cares! These anecdotes would never have formed if she had stuck to the straight and narrow, and I applaud her for turning her rendezvous into a successful career in comedy.

I have to laugh at all the prudish pearl-clutchers who reviewed this book poorly. What did they expect? It's not like they intended to buy a book written by the Duggar family, and this one jumped into their tote bag by mistake. Puh-lease.

So yes, if you bought a book about one-night stands and then got upset because it was too vulgar, then you're as naive as Chelsea's old roommate "Dumb Dumb."

I'm not saying that Handler is the most feminist or sex-positive person, but I respect her for living it up in her youth and not settling down with a husband and kids just because everyone else thinks that's what you should do. As long as everything's safe and consensual, it doesn't matter who or how many.

You do you, Chelsea. Grab another Ketel One and keep on having a blast!

Audiobook Review: Let's Pretend This Never Happened

Rating: 4 out of 5

I know that I'm totally late for the bandwagon, but better late than never, right?

Two years ago I listened to memoirs narrated by three female comedians: Bossypants by Tina Fey, Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me? by Mindy Kaling, and Are You There, Vodka? It's Me, Chelsea by Chelsea Handler.

Aghast at the realization that 2013 was void of road-trip hysterics, I purchased Let's Pretend This Never Happened, narrated by Jenny Lawson herself, a.k.a The Bloggess. Lawson is famous for her wacky ramblings, and her "mostly true memoir" highlights her most hilarious stories.

I admit that I knew nothing about Lawson when I started this book--only that its cover of a mouse dressed up as Hamlet had intrigued me since its publication. I learned that she was raised in rural Wall, Texas. Her father was a taxidermist with a penchant for traumatizing Jenny and her sister with dead animals (hence the cover).

She takes all the insanity in her life with stride, however, as well as a kick-ass sense of humor:

“I sometimes wonder what it would have been like to have a childhood that was not like mine. I have no real frame of reference, but when I question strangers I've found that their childhood generally had much less blood in it, and also that strangers seem uncomfortable when you question them about their childhood. But really, what else are you going to talk about in line at the liquor store? Childhood trauma seems like the natural choice, since it's the reason why most of us are in line there to begin with.”

To get a sense of what kind of book this is, here's a small sampling of topics: cow vaginas, vampire cougars, cat rapists, and a big metal chicken named Beyonce. Lawson's tales seem so far-fetched, she admits that many of her closest friends can't tell fact from fiction.

But what is true is the sadness that often takes root in her stories. Lawson suffers from depression, anxiety, OCD, and rheumatoid arthritis. She also experienced multiple miscarriages before the birth of her daughter Hailey.

“In short? It is exhausting being me. Pretending to be normal is draining and requires amazing amounts of energy and Xanax.”

I applaud Lawson for being so forthcoming about her mental illnesses, and for finding the slapstick silver lining. She managed to make a successful career out of her craziness, and I mean that in the best way possible.

Any blogger would kill to have Lawson's self-deprecating style and witty way with words. I hope she knows that after a lifetime of dreading social situations, she's now the cool girl on campus with many fans, who after reading her writing, would love to be her friends.

So whether life's getting you down or you just want to hear some kooky stories, I highly recommend Let's Pretend This Never Happened. You will literally LOL, I promise!

“Because you are defined not by life's imperfect moments, but by your reaction to them. And because there is joy in embracing - rather than running from - the utter absurdity of life.”

Book Review: I Can Barely Take Care of Myself

Rating: 3.5 out of 5"

The way most people feel about loving being a parent is exactly how I feel about not being a parent. I love it. And I can't imagine my life any other way."

Don't pity Jen Kirkman for her childfree lifestyle. The author is also a stand-up comedian and writer/guest panelist for Chelsea Handler's talk show. She's traveling the world and living her dream of making people laugh.

And while she just so happens to not have kids, she finds that most people can't accept that fact. In her memoir, I Can Barely Take of Myself: Tales From a Happy Life Without Kids, Kirkman releases her frustration from having to constantly justify her life choices.

Covering all the popular responses, including, "You'll change your mind," "You're selfish," and "Who's going to take care of you when you're old?" she refutes all the ignorance with humorous self-deprecation.

While I always enjoy hearing from fellow childfree folk, especially when mainstream media incites so-called 'mommy wars' and obsesses over celebrities like  Kim Kardashian and Kate Middleton simply for their reproductive abilities, I felt that this memoir could have had more fun.

I bought Kirkman's book because I liked Chelsea Handler's Are You There, Vodka? and I was expecting similarly crazy, crass stories. Unfortunately, after noticing that I've rated both memoirs the same, perhaps Handler deserved an extra half-point. Even if Handler's tales seemed more tall than true, at least they were entertaining.

It's not to say that Kirkman isn't entertaining (Handler herself played a prank by emailing Kirkman's sister that her writer was pregnant. Awkward conversations ensued!). It's just that oftentimes the author sneaked a bit of sadness in her stories.

It's clear that Kirkman is successful, but I'm not too sure about well-adjusted. The title, "I Can Barely Take Care of Myself," implies being overwhelmed, but she wasn't kidding. For much of her life, she was medicated for depression, anxiety, and childhood paranoia. She also recently suffered a divorce after only two years of marriage, something which she never fully explained in the book.

And I'm not saying that childfree people don't have mental health issues or relationship trouble, but the uber-judgmental parents of the world don't need any more ammunition when it comes to throwing the side eye at those without kids.Put another way, Chelsea Handler is also childfree but her books are so full of fun that her status doesn't even matter. No one has time to give her grief because she's too busy downing cocktails and making smart-ass jokes.

If Kirkman wanted to prove that she has 'a Happy Life Without Kids,' maybe she should have included more life and less kids.

Book Review: Don't Worry, It Gets Worse

Rating: 4.5 out of 5

“A few years ago, I graduated college, diploma in one hand, margarita in the other, completely oblivious to the shit storm that was coming my way. Here's a preview: becoming a living, breathing, job-having, bill-paying, responsible adult? Really fucking difficult.”

That profanity filled insight is from Alida Nugent, a 20-something writing for fellow 20-somethings. Founder of The Frenemy blog, her commentary on life as a Millennial can also be read on other sites like XO Jane and The Huffington Post.

And now, everyone can relate to her in her memoir, Don't Worry, It Gets Worse. I wasn't a reader of The Frenemy, but was intrigued by a girl who managed to survive breaking into the real world and come out writing for a living.

The first half of the book is hilarious. She discusses her post-grad years in New York City, living with roommates in a crappy apartment and trying to throw 'grown-up' parties but failing miserably.

She doesn't sugarcoat how difficult transitioning from child to adult can be, and she doesn't hide her hard-drinking, foul-mouthed ways. I especially loved her obsession with the bad-boy character Shawn Hunter from "Boy Meets World" as her rationalization behind why she continually falls head over heels for jerks.

Then Nugent gets more serious in the second half, when nostalgia sets in and she realizes that everyone around her is gradually moving on with their lives. Every girl her age can understand that bittersweet feeling as she now experiences the avalanche of weddings and baby showers, whether she's actually invited or has to witness them scrolling through her Facebook news feed.

So if you're a '90s kid who wishes you could swap student loans, rent, and online dating for Lisa Frank, Beanie Babies, and jelly shoes, then check out this memoir, because Alida Nugent feels your pain.

You'll laugh, you might cry, but you'll be nodding your head so much in agreement, it will make you want to give Nugent a hug...and a tequila shot. After reading Don't Worry, It Gets Worse, you're going to need both!

Book Review: Zeus Grants Stupid Wishes

Rating: 3.5 out of 5

So have you ever read any ancient myths and thought to yourself, This is some pretty crazy stuff!

Of course you have! But usually those dry textbooks discuss bestiality and cannibalism like they're just items on a grocery list. Don't you wish someone could just narrate these stories with the outlandish attitude that they deserve?

Well, Cory O'Brien is on that, bro. Founder of BetterMyths.com, O'Brien rewrites ancient myths and other tales from the modern dude's perspective in Zeus Grants Stupid Wishes (2013). The result? Hilarious!

Here's an excerpt from his retelling of the ancient Greek myth of Demeter and Persephone:

So Demeter gets real depressed

And when Demeter gets depressed

all the plants die

and everything freezes

and being alive just kind of starts to suck

because she is the goddess of like

crops and seasons and whatnot.

And see, up to this point

no one has even heard of winter

but now they are getting nothing but winter

nonstop and out of control

24/7/365

except actually maybe only for several months

but either way

shit is intolerable.

Despite the title, O'Brien includes myths from around the world, from Norse and Egyptian, to Mayan and Hindu.

And controversially, Judeo-Christian. Now there's absolutely no doubt that the world's most popular origin story shares similarities from the religions that came before it. But I get that some people get a little freaked out when painting God with the same brush as Zeus and Thor.

Putting all that aside, if you have even the smallest sense of humor, you'll get a kick out of this version of Genesis:

On day four God invents the sun and the moon

and the stars

which begs the question

WHERE WAS THE LIGHT COMING FROM BEFORE?

And then he's like "Oh shit, the moon.

Better go to sleep."

This dude needs an awful lot of sleep for an omnipotent dude

which may explain why wars happen.

Now if you're not impressed with these tidbits, don't worry. It was really hard to pick some blog-appropriate excerpts, since this whole book is super profane and raunchy. I especially enjoyed the Sumerian epic of Gilgamesh and the secret behind Scientology.

There was also quite a twist toward the end. If you'd like to find out for yourself, by all means stop reading, but I can't review this book without mentioning it and honestly, there are worse spoilers out there (I'm looking at you, "Game of Thrones" Instagram. Close call with those comments!)

O'Brien concludes with "The Prevailing Creation Myth," aka The Big Bang. So I'm reading this with my fist metaphorically in the air as science finally gets recognized like it should...but then he ends with this:

Me, I don't see much of a difference between

Science and Religion.

First off, in order to successfully apply science

there are going to be certain things that you're

taking on faith

Although I'm placated by his assertion that he doesn't agree with people trying to unconstitutionally place Creation Science beside evolution in schools, his attempt to play referee between scientists and fundamentalists trivializes the real issues at hand.

I absolutely encourage everyone to give themselves a proper education in comparative religion, to incite skepticism and doubt, and to question the ideological status quo. I also recommend that your spirituality be based on love and acceptance of others, not hate and fear-mongering.

But that's the secular side of me talking, and my book blog is not the place for me to de-convert anybody. On one hand, I agree with O'Brien because I want the world to honor the freedom for--and from--religion.

On the other hand, I understand that this an arduous mission, and sometimes you need to stir up the pot and demand a voice...even when the majority would prefer you stay quiet. When it comes to fighting for equal rights, playing nice is not always an option!

I may be an activist, but here I'm Book Club Babe first, reviewing books so you can decide whether to check them out for yourself.My verdict? If ancient myths tickle your fancy, and you're already familiar with a large number of them, I think that you'll find Zeus Grants Stupid Wishes amusing. O'Brien's blog also covers literary tales from Shakespeare, Tolkien, Dante, and Dickens, so there's plenty more chuckles for bookworms.

In fact, I think that a blog is a better medium for these kinds of re-imaginings, since the experience of reading them in this book suffers from slight monotony. Great in the beginning, but the point is belabored once you get accustomed to the comedic style. Probably better to read in short bursts!

Thus, this book was fun to read for a while, but now I better get back to the witty humor in Catch-22!

Audiobook Review: Are You There, Vodka? It's Me, Chelsea

Cover of

Rating: 3.5 out of 5

Earlier this week I finished listening to the audiobook Are You There, Vodka? It's Me, Chelsea (2009). Narrated by the author Chelsea Handler herself, it was great to compare the audiobook to Tina Fey's Bossypants and Mindy Kaling's Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me? All three women are outstanding comedians in their own rights, but Handler is certainly an acquired taste.

I've seen Handler's talk show "Chelsea Lately" a handful of times, so I knew what I was getting into. She is unafraid to discuss the most politically incorrect of situations, from her DUI and night in jail to her obsession with little people. If you're easily offended, back away from this read. No race or religion escapes her mockery, and if she's willing to insult her closest friends and family members, you know no topic is safe.

While I didn't laugh out loud as much as I did during Bossypants, Handler has her hilarious moments. Some of the stories are funnier than others, but since they were narrated chronologically, it was interesting to see her progress from an elementary student lying about being in a movie with Goldie Hawn to win popularity with her classmates into a woman dragged on a Costa Rica vacation by her father who pretends to be her husband to fly first-class.

My only issue with the novel was I wasn't sure just how autobiographical it was. Even as a child, Handler writes with an adult vocabulary and perspective, so the early scenes weren't as believable. She gets herself into some crazy situations, including starting a brawl with some high school Latinas, so it's up to you to determine fact from fiction.

Granted, she has filled in some details in various interviews, so I was already aware of her teenage abortion and her hatred of Angelina Jolie. While she often described herself as poor and unpopular when she was young, clearly that's not the case now. Ignore the "I'm just like you" mentality that many celebrities like Handler perpetuate, and just enjoy the outrageous anecdotes as semi-fiction.

Again, if you're uncomfortable reading about a woman who revels in drinking, drugs, and one-night-stands, then this book's not for you. But if you think Handler's more entertaining than obnoxious, then you'll probably get quite a few chuckles from Are You There, Vodka?

Favorite Quote:“I rolled over and picked up Us Weekly magazine off the floor. The cover had a picture of Angelina, Brad, and their little Eskimo son, Maddox. I saw staring at the photo, wondering why this little boy looks so pissed off in every picture. At first I thought he was just pissed about his Mohawk, but then I realized he’s probably furious. Maddox must have thought he hit the jackpot when some A-list celebrity rescued him from third-world Cambodia, only to discover that she was going to shuffle him back and forth to EVERY other third-world country in the universe. He’s probably like, 'When the f*** are we gonna get to Malibu, b****?”

Audiobook Review: Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me?

Rating: 4 out of 5

Ever since I listened to Tina Fey's Bossypants, I loved how audiobooks made my commute more enjoyable. Only interested in light-hearted books that require little concentration (because how hard would it be to pay attention to Moby Dick while avoiding crazy text-and-drivers?), I decided that Mindy Kaling's Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me? (And Other Concerns) would make a good follow-up.

Mindy Kaling became famous for playing Kelly Kapoor on the American version of "The Office." Her character is so obnoxiously shallow and narcissistic, but Mindy is actually someone most women could relate to. She's a 30-something size-8 who likes gossip, guys with chest hair, and sneaking out of parties. I loved learning all the quirky tidbits about her, like how she creates revenge fantasies for her workouts, or how she hates the color navy.

Mindy talks about her childhood friends, her jobs leading up to "The Office," and how she handles fame. She dishes on her co-stars Steve Carell and Rainn Wilson. Even her friends BJ Novak, Mike Schur, and Brenda Withers provide the other various voices on the audiobook.

Bossypants literally made me laugh out loud, but Is Everyone... still got me to chuckle every now and then. Even though Mindy's not as funny as Tina in my opinion, I think younger readers will appreciate Mindy's struggle to date men not boys, over Tina's frustrations with the mommy wars. But if you're a fan of female comedians, you'll probably love both of them.

So got any more great audiobooks ideas? Only requirements: must be read by the author and offer lots of laughs!

Favorite Quote: “Teenage girls, please don’t worry about being super popular in high school, or being the best actress in high school, or the best athlete. Not only do people not care about any of that the second you graduate, but when you get older, if you reference your successes in high school too much, it actually makes you look kind of pitiful, like some babbling old Tennessee Williams character with nothing else going on in her current life. What I’ve noticed is that almost no one who was a big star in high school is also big star later in life. For us overlooked kids, it’s so wonderfully fair.”